Only you are responsible for your happiness.
There. I said it. If you want to add joy to your life, YOU are the only one in power to do so.
I am sorry if you feel anxious or angry about it. But I am sure you have enough pleasers around you to tell you what you want to hear. I like to be honest with you.
Especially if you tend to experience anxiety attacks, know, that your brain is lying to you. First of all, it tells you that the worst-case scenario for sure will happen (and why would it?) and second, it tells you, you cannot handle it. Both are simple scare tactics and complete BS, so do not let your brain to manipulate you like that.
Whatever happens around you, it is still your decision how will you respond and how it can (or cannot?) impact you.
Take ownership. Admit your responsibility.
You are in control and that’s a good thing!
You can CHOOSE how you feel.
Honestly, experiencing joy takes practice. It’s basically forming a new habit, so it takes time and consistent action.
How can you practice your own happiness?
- Physical activity releases a similar hormonal response in your body as a truly entertaining party would. That’s a good start.
- Dance to your favorite music.
- Go through photos that bring a smile on your face.
- Eat something you really like and rarely eat.
- Start a gratitude journal.
Intentionally feel good as often as possible! Find some little pleasures in life.
Go even step further and plan for that. Whatever feels like pleasure, fun, amusement – add that to your calendar.
As moms, we are all about responsibility. Plus, we worry all the time. It comes with a territory. Being aware of it – make a decision and take action. Do not let this stereotype that when kids come all the fun is gone take over your mind. Everything is doable! Being a mom may mean you need better planning/organizing skills but the fun-you is still here.
With time, you won’t have to think about it, it becomes natural to seek happiness during the regular day.
Embracing joy is not all glitter and rainbows.
That doesn’t mean of course that bad things will not happen to you just because you added some joyous moments to your days. Life is life and it’s often unfair. But again, it is your choice how will you take it.
Feeling anger, sadness and discontent is part of life but also serves you no purpose in the long run. Would you agree that those emotions are quite unwanted? So why let them run your actions?
Now, I feel it’s necessary to say that as much as wanting to add joy to your life is totally understandable, the most important is your health and safety. It’s easy for me to encourage you to up-level your mental health, but if your basic needs are unmet, it might be very hard for you to even think about the process. (If you are in any danger, please ask for help, contact the appropriate institutions.)
Tricky brain games.
You must also know that your brain is not always your friend on this journey. You’ve heard about a comfort zone, right? And the fact that growth starts only right outside of this zone?
Here’s another fact about our brain’s programming – it likes everything that is known and dislikes everything that is not.
So if you have your limiting beliefs on replay in your head, that’s something known, liked and comfortable “to be” around. Therefore, will be encouraged to stay at the top of your mind. In the consequence, when you try to introduce a new, unfamiliar pattern of thinking (like adding some joy) you will most likely meet a lot of resistance. So be ready for that!
I hope you noticed also that what I’m recommending (practicing adding joy) is basically using this natural mechanism “against” the system. During the process of creating the new habit of feeling happy more often, this feeling becomes something known. It becomes a part of your comfort zone.
You are reprogramming your reality according to your own liking.
Let’s talk about the outcome of that process for a second. By shifting your mindset, opening yourself to joy, you become more aware of your emotional state and often more grateful.
There’s plenty of content about gratitude and its benefits created lately, I don’t want to go into details here, but undeniable is that being in that gratitude state takes you to a new level of feeling great.
Have you ever thought about starting a gratitude journal? Seriously, it’s a thing and it’s worth your time.
Another result you may notice is that you will take better care of yourself in general. Setting yourself as a priority is the key here. I am sure you have heard a slogan happy mama, happy family. You are in the center of your family, so you have a huge impact on everyone around you. You’ll quickly notice that when you are happy, more likely your husband, your kids will be too.
So, as your own priority from now on, you will take care of not only your emotions but also about your body. You know, physical health, food and all that jazz. You didn’t see that coming, did you?
This will hugely benefit your whole family too and might set your kids for success right from the start. How awesome this is?
How You will add joy to your life?
Being intentional about your thoughts and emotion is not a complicated process, but it takes commitment. Since you read this article to the end I probably do not have to convince you that it only has benefits, right?
Action step for you – what seems like fun nowadays? Brainstorm some ideas of adding “happy moments” purposefully to your life.