“I am a mom. I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I feel I am a terrible mom. What is wrong with me? Why I cannot be just happy, and smile, and show how grateful I am for all those little toes? I just want to lay down. And do nothing.”
I read this and my heart breaks.
You know those memes showing a family visiting mom and a newborn baby in the hospital and the text says Everyone wants to hold the baby and who will hold the mother? Oh, Mama! I am here to hold you.
If you ever felt like something is wrong with you,
please know that you are not alone. And whatever is going on with you, shaming and blaming yourself is not a solution.
Please seek help. Please talk to your doctor. Check your hormones levels, ask and read about postpartum depression. Make a life audit, look for what is missing in your life right now. Try to figure out what self-care activities would be helpful for you.
You are enough for your child. You are the mom s/he needs. Caring about your baby is all. The fact that you think you’re ungrateful and terrible mom means you care. Gather all strength that is left in you and help yourself so that you can take care of your baby.
It’s not a weakness to look for help.
It’s vulnerability. And it takes guts!
My love, being a mom is not easy but you have what it takes. It’s a privilege, it’s a mission. It comes with sleepless nights, hundreds of worries, and never-ending responsibilities. It also comes with smiles, kisses, hugs, mother’s days, and “you are my best friend” days.
Oh yes, and blown out diapers too.
It is beautiful. I promise. Give yourself time. Give yourself grace. You will become stronger and more resilient every single day. But you need to get up. Wipe your tears. And just be there. Be yourself. Be the best You, you can be.
You can learn. You can grow. You will grow. You will smile. You deserve happiness. And the trick is that happiness comes from within so let yourself feel it.
Your love will make this journey amazing.
The time to start is today. Get up. Hug your baby.
(Even if your baby is 16 now. It’s never too late.)
Feel this hug in your whole body, feel how your heart is getting fuller and fuller. Just be. You don’t have to do everything else. Laundry can wait. Pizza can be ordered. Nobody cares about the mess. It’s you and your baby, your family.
Become the mom you have always wanted to be. Believe you can do it!
Because you can.
I did it. I am here.